At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
