i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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