The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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