I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
