at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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