Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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