Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
