operation have a gay friend backfired
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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