If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
