I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
