Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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