we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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