doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize