I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
