So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
