You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just high enough for therapy.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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