I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
