I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
