he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
