Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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