My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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