i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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