But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
