Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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