Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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