Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
