I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
