Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize