Dual....:-)
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
