First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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