you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
