brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
