Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Everclear isn't food dammit
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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