Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
