How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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