so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
