At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
