No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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