You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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