M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He passed out mid-signature
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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