one might say we're banned from that church
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
