Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
