Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize