i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
