I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
soo... how was my night?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
