That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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