I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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