Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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