this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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