Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Randomize
