i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
