So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
