i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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