K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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