weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
