i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You made out with two different species that night
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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