i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
