I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
