Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
