Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
