I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
