i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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