So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
