i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
