'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
