Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
