Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
this is an emotional support booty call
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
