Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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