My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We left the knife in your bed.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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