So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
