i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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